Speak like a Child
by dawnsama
Summary: AU Merle Fanel is not just any other child, she's an autistic child. The whole Fanel family has to work together in order to care for this very special member of the family, Van and Folken Fanel especially.


A/n Please read the Author's note when you're done!

Disclaimer: I don't own Escaflowne or its characters. Right, yeah.

Speak like a Child

**Chapter One**

            "I'm afraid I am not familiar with this term. What did you say your child was?" asked the clinic nurse.

            Varie Fanel sighed in quiet impatience. Her sons, thirteen years old Folken and nine years old Van, groaned in frustration and stamped his foot, respectively. Her daughter, five year old Merle, the child in question, only stared unresponsively at the floor, sucking her thumb, her small hand gripping her mother's.

            "Autistic," said Varie. "My daughter Merle is autistic."

            "_Artistic_?" asked the nurse in confusion.

            From her point of view, the nurse could only see a mess of matty black hair and the face of a boy trying to look cool. All she could see of Merle was a bob of pink hair. When the black hair suddenly spoke, she gasped in shock. 

"No _stupid_. AU-tistic," Van retorted angrily. "Can't you stupid hospital people get it _right_?"

            "Dumbass," Folken muttered, snatching the chance to use a new found swearword. 

            "Van, Folken" Varie snapped sharply. Van pierced his lips together stubbornly but quieted. Folken rolled his eyes, the perfect picture of an adolescent teenage boy.

            Varie sighed again and met the nurse's eyes with a silent apology. She couldn't really blame her sons. Of all days for the family doctor, Dr. Balgus, to be gone they just _had _to get an incompetent nurse. Where were all the usual nurses anyway? They knew about Merle's condition. 

            "Autism is a learning disability," Varie calmly explained to the nurse. "You could say that Merle is in her own separate world from the rest of us. Her brains cells do not make connections as quickly as normal children and therefore she does not learn as quickly either. As you can see, Merle is much more immature than other girls her age."

            At the sound of her name, Merle looked up, glanced up at her mother and looked down again sullenly. Van poked her nose gently, making her giggle.

            "We adopted Merle so we don't know if her autism is hereditary of not," Varie continued. "Today, my kids are scheduled to have their flu shots I believe."

            "Oh, yes." The nurse scanned the computer. "And is Dr. Balgus your usual doctor? We can have another doctor administer the shots."

            "He's been taking care of my family for years," Varie confirmed. "I don't mean to be difficult but I I won't have any other doctor administer the shots. Besides, he's the only doctor that Merle is familiar with you see." With any other doctor Merle would have a fit which would then result in chaos.

            At the word "shot" Merle immediately began to squirm. 

            "No shot!" Merle shouted. She hated shots. "No shot Mommy!"

            "Keep your voice down Merle," Varie said calmly, eyebrows pinched in fear as she recognized the signs of another fit. Unfortunately, the signs wouldn't go away..

            "No shot Mommy! Don't want shot! NO SHOT! NO SHOT NO SHOT NO–"

            At this point, other waiting patients in the clinic lobby were beginning to shake their heads and mutter about children who couldn't behave. Some were even glaring openly at Varie, murmuring about bad parenting. Here, Varie quickly crouched down at eye level with Merle, taking both of her little hands into her own. Van and Folken flanked her sides, glaring back at he offending patients.

            "Merle, I'm sorry but you need this shot. They make you strong and healthy," Varie said to Merle soothingly.

            "No strong and healthy!"

            "But Van and Folken are getting shots first! Aren't they so brave, Merle?"

            Merle looked at her two brothers, both standing so calmly and both towering over her. "Brave?"

            "Yes, they are very brave. Don't you want to brave like them?"

            "Yes!" Merle loved being just like her brothers.

            "Can you be brave enough to take a flu shot?"

            "No!"

            "But then you won't be brave like Van and Folken."

            Merle paused and contemplated this for a moment. As most of the offending patients in the lobby had gone back to their own business, Van stopped glaring and bent down to Merle and grinned.

            "Don't worry Merle. I'll go first. But can you help me be brave?"

            "Uh, okay!" agreed Merle.

            "Are you sure? But I'm so scared," Van said, pretending to look frightened.

            "No afraid Van! You be brave," said Merle.

            "Really? I have to be brave?" asked Van.

            "Yeah!" 

            "Oh thanks Merle," said Van. "Are you going to be brave too when you get a shot?"

            "Yeah!"

            Varie smiled at Van. The nurse was also smiling too.

            "Aw, what a good brother you are!" she cooed.

            Van's grin disappeared as he looked up at her. He sniffed at her patronizingly, somehow looking down his nose at her despite his small height. Her pitiful lack of knowledge of autism clearly disgusted him.

            As the nurse sat at her desk wondering what she had done to deserve such snobbish treatment, the door opened. In a white lab coat, Dr. Balgus strode into the lobby, nodding to some and smiling at others.

            Both the nurse and Varie sighed in relief.

            "Ah, Varie! Sorry for the delay. That damned traffic out there will be the death of me some day," said Dr. Balgus. "And who's here?" He bent down to smile at Merle. "Hello there little kitty!"

            "Merle!" she corrected, giggling.

            "Oh I'm sorry! Your name's not little kitty!" He winked his scared eye pleasantly to her. It was their little game between them. "And who else? Ah Van! How's your kendo lessons coming along?"

            "I beat Folken at practice yesterday," Van announced proudly.

            "I was just really tired that day," Folken added quickly.

            "Well, just try not to break as many bones as last year, Van. That goes for you too Folken. Nice to see you again Varie," Dr. Balgus said, shaking her hand. "And now, let's take of those shots, shall we?" he said, rubbing his hands together.

            Merle began to whimper. Varie squeezed her hand.

            "Remember to be brave," she whispered.

            "Alright, who's first?" asked Dr. Balgus.

            "Van!" Folken said quickly.

            "Folken," Van said a tad slower.

            "Not fair! You said you'd go first Van!"

            "He's right, Van. You told Merle that you'd go first," Varie said.

            Grumbling, Van sat up on the table and waited nervously as Dr. Balgus fiddled with a needle.

            "This won't hurt it a bit, Van so just relax." Dr. Balgus took hold of Van's arm. "Now just close your eyes—"

            Van cringed as a searing pain suddenly ran through his arm. "No fair! You didn't warn me!" he complained when the pain was gone, rubbing his arm.

            "Oh come now it didn't hurt that much did it?"

            "Actually it—"

            "Okay! Who's next?"

            Van grumbled to himself as he hopped off. He sneered at Folken as he got his shot and turned to Merle. His sister was a little ball of terror. She squeezed her eyes shut and buried her face into her mother.

            "Be brave," he whispered. 

Merle only whimpered. All thoughts of being just like her brothers were gone. Who cared when she was getting a shot? She stiffened when Varie moved to lift her up into her lap. It was coming, the dreaded shot was coming. Instinctively, Merle began to squirm, wiggling on Varie's lap. The squirming turned into a struggle as Varie locked her arms around Merle to keep her still. The shot was coming closer and closer. Merle began to cry.

Dr. Balgus held the syringe close to Merle's arm. "Now don't be afraid, little kitty—"

"Merle!" she shrieked automatically amid tears.

"—it won't hurt a bit," Dr. Balgus finished.

Merle began to bawl. "NO SHOT!"

Varie sighed and reminded herself that shots were quick.

"Be brave, Merle. Be brave just like me," Van said.

Merle wasn't really sure she really wanted to be brave anymore. Her bawling intensified as the something sharp suddenly sliced its way under her skin. Van began to shout encouragingly over her screams. Varie squeezed her arms tight so as to prevent her daughter from escaping. Folken only shrugged and patiently waited until it was over.

When the sharp thing was gone, Merle's cries turned into gasping sobs. Finally, it was done.

"Good job Merle," Varie said happily, kissing her cheek. "You were so brave!  I'm so proud of you!"

"You were just like me!" Van announced.

Merle took it in, wide-eyed, lips still quivering slightly. Yeah, sure, she was brave. Why not?

A/n I apologize to anyone who's read Motorcycles of Escaflowne and are now mad at me for not updating. That particular story is giving me an annoying writer's block and I've always wanted to write this story anyway.

**All right, prepare for a somewhat long author's note.**

**This story is very personal to me. I have two little sisters (yeah, I'm the oldest) and my youngest sister, Alexa, is an autistic child. For this reason, I'm extremely sensitive on the subject of mentally retarded people and people with mental disorders. I absolutely _detest and loathe _it when mentally retarded people are ridiculed and I hate it when people use "retard" as an insult. Please read this with an open mind. This fanfic will be somewhat based on me and my family's own experiences involving autism. I don't think anyone can understand what it is like to live with an autistic child except those who do of course. As this fanfic goes along, I'm going to get more into the emotional side. It might even turn dark. So if you're expecting a sunny, cheery story, you may not enjoy this. **

**And because I know people will ask this, yes, I will have a little VanxHitomi side in this. The romance just won't be the main point of the story. I'm going to be mainly focusing on the Fanel family themselves and their lives. Hitomi will come in later, I promise.**

**Personally, I don't think anyone understands or knows what it's like to _be _autistic except those who are. So I'm not completely certain I will portray Merle correctly. Oh yeah, and about that. I don't mean any ill will toward Merle fans if they happen to resent me making Merle autistic. I just think it works better that way.**

**I hope that this fanfic will make readers more aware of the situation with mental disorders. I haven't seen any like this yet. I hope you enjoy it!**

**Oh yeah, and if you have had any experiences with autistic/etc children (or if you live with one?) I would love to hear about it in your review!**


End file.
